Wednesday's Child
by Skaoi
Summary: Wednesday's Child...full of woe (Marking this 'complete' for now but there may be more in the future. It's going to be a long, long summer.)


He hadn't seen anything this bright since he came topside to personally gather a few rogue souls in Japan. When a group of humans called "Americans" detonated some sort of explosive device in Okinawa. Definitely a hopping time to be in Hell.

He tries to squint further and feels the skin on his face crack. His body is on fire, as if he'd been forcibly returned to Hell. But this is different. No flames lick his skin. He's not moving. Not terribly abraded, just...literally cooked.

And Hell is dark. This is decidedly _not_ dark.

Lucifer checks in with extremities. Arms? Check. Legs? Check. Head? _Bloody Hell, it hurts_ , but it also seems to be present and accounted for.

He notices he's laying on his side, left arm draped over his nude torso and hand resting on the ground. Right arm is outstretched, pillowing his head.

Sunburned fingers grip the ground. Sandy. Pebbly. Hot.

So bright.

His lips are cracked and bleeding. Blistered.

Sand crusts his eyelashes.

With all the energy he can muster, he forces himself into a sitting position. After he catches his breath, he stands on shaking legs, swooning. The sand scorches his feet. _Where are my shoes?_

His swollen tongue creeps out to tentatively lick the tortured skin on his lips. Grimace as it stings. _What the Hell happened? I was going to see The Detective and then..._

Ever so slowly, Lucifer starts to blink. A shaking hand raises to shade his eyes as the bleached world around him comes into view.

 _Nothing,_ he muses as his eyes focus. _There is...nothing...here_.

He slowly turns the percussion section that is his head and blinks at the scrubby landscape around him. More blinking as he adjusts his posture to stop swaying. An almost imperceptible forward shift in his shoulders stops the movement. An adjustment unconsciously made. As if by habit.

 _Oh no._

He exhales a shaky breath then directs his attention to his back.

 _That bastard_. He raises his anguished brown gaze to the sky, **_Why?_**

A small flex of his trapezius muscles moves the wings and sand shakes out from the feathers. The movement almost pulls him from his feet and he growls in frustration. _Damned things are probably so desiccated at the moment I couldn't fly if I even wanted to._ Sharp look at the brilliant star in the sky, _And I've no interest in getting any closer to_ ** _that_** _at the moment_.

He looks around, trying to keep his feet. No shelter. Not even a tree or tall rock to provide shade to wait for dark. _Fine, then. I'll do it myself._

Lucifer drops to his knees then lowers his hands to the ground, crouching on all fours. Once he's stable, he flexes his shoulders more forcibly, flapping his wings vigorously. He closes his eyes against the resulting sand storm, but after a long minute, the wings feel lighter and less weighed-down by sediment. Satisfied, he lowers the rest of his body to the hot ground, curling his knees to his chest, then provides his own shade by covering himself with his wings.

 _I'll wait the damned sun out then get moving once it's dark_ , he decides as he closes his eyes again.

Eventually, it's the pecking that wakes him up. An insistent, sharp stabbing in his back, "Ow! Bloody Hell, stop that!" he shouts as one of his wings swipes at his assailant.

"Caw!" comes the crow's offended retort as it hops backward.

Lucifer rolls onto his seat and scowls at the bird, "I'm not a meal, you mite-infested sky rat!"

"Caw!"

Satan looks around and sees that night has fallen. He nods in resignation. _Time to get moving._ He changes position to his hands and knees again then looks over at the bird, "You may wish to relocate yourself," he rasps. Warning issued, he unfurls his massive wings and shakes them out. The motion starts small then gains strength; a soft wave gives way to a mighty threshing. Using his wings' motion, he raises himself to his feet then looks around again.

"Caw!" reports the crow as it hops and waves its own wings.

He arches a brow down, "Yes, you stupid git, I recall how to fly. I've been wingless for a comparatively small length of time. Certainly it's the equivalent of a human riding a bicycle."

Lucifer looks around again, "Question is, where do I go?" His gaze drifts to his apparent companion, "D'you know how to get to Los Angeles? I have a promise to keep. If it's not too late," he finishes quietly.

The crow cocks its head and hops once before taking flight.

"Wait just a moment!" he calls as he leaps into the sky to follow. His wings respond to ages-old habit, easily lifting him and soaring into the night. His head swims in the cool air and he feels his heart racing as a smile splits his cracked lips. _I_ ** _have_** _missed this_.

Habit is one thing. Exhaustion and stress are another.

After only thirty minutes or so, the adrenaline and elation have left him and his body begins to ache. Lack of food, water, and shelter, combined with the stress of the past couple of weeks catch The Devil and he finds himself forced to land. He crouches on his knees, panting as the crow circles back. It hops on the ground in front of him with an expectant look.

Lucifer waves it off, "Hold on," he commands between breaths. "Been a while, a'right?" He gains his feet and starts walking slowly in the direction the bird was leading him. "Let's just do this for the time being." More heavy breathing, "Harder than I recall."

The bird inclines its head and he would swear it shrugged before taking to the air again. Lucifer lowers his eyebrows as he watches it literally flying in circles over him to keep him moving. At one point, he calls up, "D'you have a name?" He doesn't expect an answer but he would swear the crow winked at him. Satan laughs, "I'll call you Wednesday, then."

The crow suddenly turns and disappears into the night sky, leaving Lucifer to wonder if he'd offended a damned bird and why he should care.

After roughly half an hour of plodding in the desert, Wednesday returns, laden with a couple of items. One is a bit of cactus and the other is the corpse of a small snake. Lucifer raises his eyebrows as the apparent gifts are placed on the ground, "What, exactly, am I supposed to do with those?" he asks. "I'm not eating...that (he gestures at the snake)...if that's what you're on about."

The bird hops up to Lucifer and pecks the top of his foot, causing the Lord of Hell to hop away, "Ow! That bloody hurt!" It turns to peck into the succulent flesh of the cactus and Lucifer sees moisture ooze out. He subconsciously licks his lips then reaches carefully for the prickly bit of flora. He plucks the spines then tears some of the skin off, licking the juice that comes seeping out, "This is divine," he whimpers in gratitude.

Another peck on his foot and he scowls down at the interruption, "Stop that." Wednesday hops to the snake and pecks it. "I'm not eating that," Lucifer explains. The crow cocks its head. "Yes, I know humans say it tastes like chicken. Can I refuse on the grounds of salmonella?"

Wednesday hops toward Lucifer and he dances away, "Do NOT peck my foot again, you little parasite wagon." The bird blinks at him and he huffs, "FINE. S'pose I've eaten worse in my time than a raw snake."

Another half an hour or so after Lucifer's meal of cactus juice and snake, Wednesday flies right in front of him, seemingly encouraging him to take flight again. Satan nods, feeling stronger than he had earlier, "Alright. Let's have another go, shall we?" He launches himself into the sky and smiles broadly at the bird in front of him, "Much better! Let's see how far we can get before the sun comes up again."

"Caw!" the bird crows as it turns to lead the way.

Hours later, Lucifer lands heavily on the ground at the outskirts of Los Angeles. He and Wednesday flew for hours, stopping occasionally for rest and snacks of cactus and whatever small creatures they could find. "Maze might actually enjoy eating scorpions," he mused while crunching into one of the stinging arachnids earlier. He spit out a piece of carapace, "And I hope to never encounter one again."

Lucifer falls to his knees, shaking and exhausted. The flight was slow, arduous, and, blessedly, is almost over.

"Caw!" cries Wednesday, hoping up and down.

Lucifer scowls at his companion, "I know we're almost there. A moment? Please?"

Chloe thinks about his voicemail for probably the hundredth time that day. _No more hiding_ , he said. _He was coming over._ She shakes her head again. Three days of non-stop tracking and she was no closer to finding him. _He didn't run, I just know it._

She turns to her companion in the front seat, "Thanks for coming, Ella. You've got a great eye for details so maybe you'll catch something we've missed."

The forensics tech nods, "Hey, no problem." She sighs, "It's loco, right? He loves that car; he wouldn't just leave it at the hospital. And one second he was on CCTV in the porte cochere at the hospital and the next, he was gone."

They take the elevator to the empty flat and start looking around. Ella nods appreciatively as she sets her kit down, "Dude knows how to live the good life." She slides a latex-covered hand over the piano, "Very nice."

Chloe nods as she looks around, "Yeah. He does." _Not 'did,'_ she reminds herself. _He's still alive, dammit._

Ella watches Chloe swallow convulsively and reaches over for a hug, "Hey, we'll find him, okay? You always get your man!" She claps her hands together and they make an odd slapping sound with the gloves, "So! Where do we start?"

The detective walks over to Lucifer's desk, "We've been through the desk. There's a ledger. Bank book. A few notes. It's all written in some shorthand we can't read, but Maze promised there's nothing there to be concerned about for this case."

She walks past the bar, the piano and living area to the library. "Nothing jumping out over here, either," she reports as she indicates the laden bookshelves.

"Whooooaaa," Ella breathes as she approaches the floor-to-ceiling shelves jam-packed with books. She looks around the comfortable space and sees other books set about, all within easy reaching distance from the sofa. "He sure reads a lot for an actor."

Chloe blinks then shakes her head, _Ooookay._ She crosses the floor and moves to Lucifer's sleeping space. _Not really a bedroom_ , she muses as she climbs up the steps.

Ella follows close behind and starts opening drawers.

"Oh! Ella!" the detective moves to caution, but she's too late.

The young Latina reaches into a drawer and pulls out a feather tickler. She waves it at Chloe while she snickers, "Hahahahaha! Hilarious." She throws a speculative look at the blonde, "Hey, did you guys ever..."

"NO!" Chloe replies too quickly while she grabs the tickler out of the other woman's hand. She blushes furiously while she shoves the toy back into the drawer then slams it shut.

Ella points to the bedside furniture, "Shouldn't we go through those, too?" she asks.

Still blushing, Chloe gives her head a vigorous shake, "Already did," she reports. Her voice squeaks, so she clears her throat. "Nothing...um...there. Well, except...um...that. Sort of stuff." She looks around and huffs a sharp breath as she continues to walk toward the closet and bath area.

Ella remains near Lucifer's bed, "Maybe a lady whisked him away for a romantic trip or something." She shrugs, "Or a guy. Dude sure gets around."

Chloe shakes her head, "He said he's been tied up with family stuff this past few weeks. Actually haven't seen him around anyone else since...um...his...um... _wife_...left."

She flicks on a light switch. "Nothing back here, either," she chuckles, "except evidence that one Lucifer Morningstar apparently has his own personal tailor on retainer." She gestures at the closet around her. Immaculately pressed suits and shirts hang undisturbed and several shelves hold perfectly-folded jeans, sweaters, and casual shirts. An entire section is a floor-to-ceiling shoe rack.

Ella emits a soft, appreciative whistle as she runs a hand over a particularly lovely pair of oxblood dress shoes, "Daaaammmmmn, Luce," she murmurs. Reasserting her focus, she blinks and looks around, "Right. So, anybody go through all his pockets? Check the drawers? His shoes?" She pulls out a drawer to reveal a rainbow of neatly folded pocket squares.

Chloe nods, "Yeah. Already had a team go through everything. They did a pretty good job of putting everything back they way they found it. I think."

Ella nods, "Okay, so nothing to find here, either." She points at a door, "Bathroom?"

Chloe nods, "Yeah." She waves dismissively at the door, "It's even more spotless than his bar."

The forensics tech nods as she walks back out into the main area of the apartment and Chloe follows. She opens her mobile lab and pulls out the black light, "Let's see what we can find before we start dusting everything."

Hours later, Ella raises up onto her knees near Lucifer's bed. She shakes her head, "Chloe, I gotta tell you, Lucifer must have the world's best cleaning service because everything is spotless. It's seriously bordering on psychopathic to be this clean."

Chloe shakes her head with an affectionate grin and is about to answer when there's a resounding CRASH on the balcony. The women run through the living space, the detective drawing her gun while on the move.

They crouch behind the sofa and peer over the back, through the glass wall to the balcony.

Chloe's mouth drops open and Ella's eyes bulge as she crosses herself. "Elllllaaaa..." the detective whispers softly. "Tell me I'm not hallucinating."

Ella shakes her head without redirecting her gaze, "Nope. Not hallucinating."

Lucifer is draped heavily over the railing of his balcony. His back, and what looks to be approximately ten feet of bedraggled white wings, are turned toward the apartment. He's filthy, stripped down to a pair of ragged, dirt-covered trousers and barefoot. His hair is a dusty wreck and his eyes are closed as he struggles to catch his breath. A crow is perched on the railing next to him.

Neither seem to have noticed the women hiding in the living room and Lucifer turns to drag himself into the penthouse. He reaches out to carefully balance himself between the railing and the furniture, starts to shuffle forward then stops. "Ow!" he utters with a hoarse cry. Unintelligible words escape his mouth, but the tone is clear.

"I stubbed my bloody foot. Son of a bitch..." he swears softly then stops.

And blinks.

Blinks again and leaves his eyes closed.

He takes a long, slow breath then releases it at equal speed.

"Detective," he murmurs. The crow issues a loud cry then flies away.

Chloe looks at Ella, blue eyes wide, _How does he know I'm here?_ She says without sound.

Ella's dark eyes are just as blown while she shakes her head, _Don't know!_ She mouths back.

"I know you're here," he says quietly as he opens his eyes. "Please..." he begs as he drops to the floor, his legs no longer able to hold him.

Chloe and Ella jump up and run to him. Each take an arm and carefully haul him inside, wings dragging behind, to lay him face down on the couch they were just hiding behind. His eyes crack open and he coughs a dry chuckle, "And Miss Lopez. Lovely," he slurs before losing consciousness.

The detective stares down at her friend in shock. He's sunburned, blistered, scraped, and covered in dirt. "He needs a hospital," she reports.

Ella's mind is racing ten miles a minute and she gives Chloe a sharp look, "No way, man. Are you crazy?" She gestures at Lucifer's back, "You know what will happen if we do that? The whole thing will go totally X-Files and we'll never see him again. God only knows what they'd do to him."

Chloe blinks, "Oh God." G O D. She sits down hard on the chair near the couch and looks at Ella. "He's not The Devil...he's a..."

The forensics tech nods her head, "Well, yeah. Definitely an angel. Could still be The Devil." She grins, "And if he IS, that means he's actually an ARCHangel. One of the Big Important Angels." She shakes her head wistfully, "That is so cool."

Then she looks at the detective again, "No hospitals. We need to get him cleaned up, though." Ella looks between the two of them, "We're not really big enough to manhandle him and the wings into a bathtub, though." She grimaces, "We need help."

Chloe's eyes pop open, "Who will help us without hurting him?" She puts on her thinking cap and silently taps her lips with her finger for a long minute, "Maze! She keeps saying how she left Hell with Lucifer and they talk about her being 'his demon' or something. She already knows about his wings. I'll call her."

It takes Maze thirty minutes to arrive, "fucking LA traffic" she growls as she exits the elevator. She comes upon Ella and Chloe valiantly trying to wipe Lucifer down with wet cloths as he lay face down on his couch, trying their best to not interact with the elephant in the room.

"Holy shit," the demon swears into the quiet space.

Chloe jumps up to approach her roommate, "Maze, we need to get him cleaned up. He's covered in blisters and scrapes and there's sand everywhere and...how do we even clean... _those_?"

Maze cocks her head and gives the detective a long look, "How blistered and scraped up was he when he got here?" she asks quietly. "How much did you see?"

Chloe blinks then points at the subject of their conversation, "Just like he is now. Didn't see anything. His pants are still on."

The demon shakes her head, "No, Decker, I don't mean his junk. I mean 'did he actually HAVE skin'?"

The detective's face pales and she leans away as if suddenly realizing she's talking to an honest-to-God demon. "I...um...yes. He had...has skin. Like now." She glances back nervously at where Ella is continuing the efforts to clean him up. "I can't believe I"m asking this, but does he normally... _not_...have skin?"

Maze shrugs as she strides across the room, "Depends. Doesn't matter now. We need to get him in the shower." She takes a moment to consider the approach then gives a quick, decisive nod. "You," she points at Chloe, "take the right wing. You," she points at Ella, "take the left. I'll carry him while you two manage the feathers."

The humans look nervous, so the demon reaches down to one of the wings and manipulates it carefully, "Move them like this so we can get him through doorways without breaking one of them. I'd rather not call a bird vet to set a broken angel wing."

Ella and Chloe look at each other, then back to Maze, "Okay, got it," the detective reports. "Pick him up and we'll get the wings."

Ella pauses, "Dude, are you sure you can hoist him as dead weight? He's kinda...big. And heavy. And you're...not big."

Maze rolls her eyes and growls, "Won't be the first time. Now, move!"

Spurred to action, the women each take their assigned wing and wait for Maze to get Lucifer into a fireman carry over her shoulder. The three of them shuffle and stagger through the sleeping area, the closet and finally make it to the bathroom.

Maze sets him on the bench of his enormous, white Carrera marble shower and starts to strip down.

"Maze, what the Hell are you doing?" Chloe asks in alarm. The demon pulls off her shirt, "Giving him a shower." She points at the detective and Ella, "Come on, get naked. It's going to take all of us."

Chloe blushes and Ella kicks off her shoes. The dark-haired woman shrugs as she pops open her jeans, "He needs us to help him right now, Chloe." She points at Lucifer's grime-covered body and dirt-laden wings. "I mean, yeah, I can scrub a guy down and stuff, but I have zero clue what to do with _those_."

Chloe takes off her shoes as Maze peels off her leather pants, "What's the plan, Maze?" she asks.

The demon shrugs, "Get him naked and wash him off. He'll be wet and slippery, so two of us should hold up up while the other scrubs."

The detective shakes her head, "Yeah, I could figure that out." She points, "What about the...um...the..."

"Wings?" Maze finishes helpfully. She continues at Chloe's nod, "Wet them down as much as we can. We need a gentle soap. That fancy, small batch crap he uses on his hair should be fine." She snickers, "He's going to be pissed when he realizes what I used it for."

Ella blinks as she slides off her t-shirt, "He seems like he's pretty intense about his grooming."

Maze snorts a laugh, "Wait'll you see what his hair is actually like when it's clean and hasn't been product-ed into submission."

Chloe shucks out of her jeans then pulls off her shirt, "He'll survive having to buy more fancy shampoo. Let's get this over with."

The women remove the rest of their clothing while the demon reaches over to turn on the shower. She walks in and reaches for the closure on The Devil's pants. She wrinkles her nose, "He reeks. Some of this blood isn't his. What the fuck?" She looks over at Chloe in irritation, "You two come pull him up so I can get his pants off.

Chloe and Ella move to stand on either side and pull him to half-standing while Maze pulls off his ruined trousers. She flings the offending article of clothing onto the floor in the bathroom then turns to grab the soap. Her eyebrows go up, "One of you want to do it?"

They respond at the same time. "Nope," Ella answers. "Good here holding him up."

Chloe shakes her head and blushes ferociously as she tries to not look at the very naked angel she's holding, "You go ahead, Maze. Since, you know, we've...already got him."

Maze rolls her eyes and reaches for a switch, "How you humans ever got around to making MORE of you, I'll never understand. Jets coming on," she warns.

Ella and Chloe are surprised when water starts spraying out of the wall and falling from the rain fixture above them. "Wasn't expecting that," reports Ella as she turns her head to avoid getting water in her eyes.

Maze lathers the soap and starts to scrub her friend, starting with his hair and working her way down. "Hey," she calls to the women, "You two stand on the bench and hold him up as straight as you can. I can't reach _everything_ with him bent like that."

They comply one at a time and the demon nods her approval, "Much better." She grabs a washcloth and soaps it liberally before she begins to scrub in earnest, ignoring that the blisters and scrapes may be tender.

"Blood...'ell," he slurs a complaint as some semblance of consciousness seems to return. "running me in a car wash?" he asks groggily.

"It's alright, Lucifer," Chloe replies softly. "We're cleaning you up."

"We?" He turns his head in her direction and cracks his eyes open for a moment, "'tective?"

She smiles, "I'm here, Lucifer. Ella and I are helping you stand up so Maze can wash all the dirt off you."

He gives a small, sleepy nod, "Hmmm...'lllla." He's quiet for a bit and they think he's fallen asleep, but he rouses again, just a little bit. "Sssorry."

Chloe frowns, "Why are you sorry?"

His shoulders move as if trying to shrug and his wings flop heavily against the wall of the shower, "...'ing...hmmmm." His weight settles more heavily and they're pretty sure he really did fall asleep this time.

Maze stands up to inspect her work. Satisfied, she has the women turn him around so she can reach his back and start to work the dirt out of his feathers. Luckily, they aren't as filled with sand as his hair (comparatively, anyway). She carefully lathers his shampoo and cleans the feathers as much as she can before Chloe and Ella start to grow uncomfortable with the the dead weight of this large man...angel...draped over them.

Giving the feathers a final rinse, she hops out of the shower and grabs all the towels she can find. She throws several towels on the floor, spreading them out with a couple of bath mats.

Chloe and Ella carefully lay Lucifer down on the towel-pad and they start carefully drying him off. Maze shows them how to dab the wings to soak up the water, "He's going to have to flap them to really get them dry, though," she reports. "We'll get the excess and he can take care of the rest when he wakes up."

After a bit, they've done what they can. "Let's get some shorts or something on him, then get him into bed," Chloe suggests.

Maze creases her brow, "Why shorts? He sleeps nude."

Chloe blushes, "Of course he does," she replies as Maze reaches down to heft him up.

"Wings," Maze orders, and the women each reach for a feathered appendage, manipulating it so he can be carried to his bed with minimal impact. Maze flings herself backward on the bed, carrying him with her, then she slides out from under him, leaving him face down. She grabs his feet and slides him fully onto the mattress then carefully situates a blanket over his back so it doesn't interfere with his wings.

Ella nods appreciatively, "Respect, Maze! You are one strong lady!"

Maze responds with her own expression of appreciation, causing the young woman to blush.

"We should get dressed," Chloe says as she turns and walks to the bathroom. Ella and Maze follow close behind.

"So, what's next?" the detective asks the demon as they are putting their clothes back on.

Maze shrugs, "I don't know. I can stay for a while but I've got a job tomorrow." She glances back toward the sleeping area, "No telling how long he'll stay down. I checked him out pretty thoroughly while I was cleaning him. He isn't terribly injured, so, maybe he's just really dehydrated and needs to sleep."

The humans nod and Maze cocks her head, "What about you two?"

"What do you mean?" Chloe asks.

Maze shrugs again, "Really, Decker? You just found out your boyfriend is The Lord of Hell just like he said he is..."

"He's not my boyfriend!" she protests.

Two pairs of dark brown eyes widen as Ella and Maze both scoff, "Seriously?" they ask in unison.

Chloe scowls at them and tries to change the subject, "I don't remember reading that Satan has feathery wings. It's weird."

Ella raises her hand, "Oh! I do! He was a fallen angel, but, you know, still an angel." She grins, a slightly far-away look in her eye, "He's _not_ a method actor. That is SO COOL."

The demon's eyebrows come down, "How are _you_ okay with this, Miss Cross Bling?"

Ella waves her off, "Dude, I have a harder time understanding how Donald Trump is our president than I have accepting that The First Fallen is passed out in the other room on his Egyptian cotton sheets right now."

She thumbs in Lucifer's general direction, "This guy is a sweetheart. I don't buy the bad rap his dad laid on him, sticking him with that crappy job for all that time. There's two sides to every story." She grins, "Can't blame a guy for wanting a little R&R, right?" She winks at Chloe, "Meet a pretty girl."

Chloe rolls her eyes, "Oh brother." She looks at Maze, "Call me in the morning when you need to head out and let me know how he's doing. I can look in on him and help if he needs it."

Ella steps up, "I can help, too. Just let me know what you need."

Maze smiles at her... _friends?_...as she helps them gather their things then walks them to the elevator. "I'll call you in the morning," she promises.

True to her word, the demon rings the detective before the sun rises. It was a long night for Chloe and she didn't sleep much, so she answered on the first ring, "How is he?" she asks without preamble, not bothering to hide the concern in her voice. Even without considering whatever happened to cause his latest disappearance, if only half of what he'd said to her was true this past couple of months, he really had been through Hell and needed as many friends as he could get.

"He sort of woke up a few times," Maze replies. "Drank about a gallon of water. Finished drying his wings. He said something about needing to talk to you before he went back to sleep. He's been down a couple of hours."

Chloe nods through the phone even though she knows Maze can't see it, "I'll leave now. Be there in twenty minutes or so."

"Sounds good. I'll be gone already, but you can let yourself in," Maze answers. "Message me during the day to keep me updated." Chloe hears a soft growl through the phone, "I want to know who did this to him."

The detective's voice is tight as she agrees while she grabs her coat and heads to the door, "Me, too, Maze. Me, too."

Awareness slowly asserts itself as Lucifer rubs his face into his pillow. _Home_ , he sighs. He slowly raises himself onto his hands and knees on the bed and stretches. As he arches his back, his wings unfurl and flap lightly, easing the tension between his shoulders. _Stupid fucking wings._

"I guess this is a _little_ bit better than coming back with a stripper for a wife," he hears behind him.

He whirls to sit on the bed with the sheet pulled around his waist and his right wing levels everything on both side tables.

Chloe cringes at the ruckus and can't keep the affectionate smile from her face. _Dork._ ** _My_** _dork. My_ ** _winged_** _dork._

"Detective!" he exclaims as blood rushes to his face. "Um...fancy seeing you here?"

She cocks her head and points at the gleaming white feathers sprouted from her partner's back, "So...those what you wanted to tell me about when you left that voicemail?"

Lucifer looks behind him, still blushing, then turns his head to catch her eye, "No. I mean, yes. Sort of. I was going to show you...something else." He raises a hand to stop stammering then takes a slow breath. "I was going to offer different proof, but never had the chance before someone absconded with me." He frowns as he gestures at the wings, "These were...I found they'd been returned when I awoke in the desert."

She nods sagely, "That explains the mess you were in when you...um...crash-landed on the balcony last night."

His lips draw into a tight line, "Yes. Someone dumped me in the middle of the Mojave. Took most of the night to...make my way back." He stands up, still holding the sheet around his waist, and steps into his living area. "Where is Maze? I need her to get these things off me," he looks around for his oldest friend.

Chloe follows him, trying not to stare at the wings where they lay folded against his back, "She had to go to work. I told her I'd babysit you and keep her posted."

He turns and scoffs at her, "Babysit me?" He moves his wings a little bit, "You've just received confirmation that I'm lit'rally older than the human concept of time and you still believe I require a babysitter?"

She tries really hard to not laugh at the way he's pouting. "Who do you think bathed you and put you to bed last night?"

He harrumphs and continues walking toward the bar, "Yes, well, not how I prefer to be triple-teamed by beautiful women," he grumbles as he uses his free hand to pour himself a drink.

Chloe waves off his offer of a glass of whiskey and sits down at the bar, "Any thoughts on who grabbed you at the hospital?" She gives him a pointed look, "I'm guessing you have a lot more enemies...and different sort of enemies...than I originally thought you did."

Lucifer's eyebrows go up, "You assumed I had enemies? Even when you didn't believe me?"

She shrugs and starts ticking off fingers, "Let's see. You make deals with all kinds of people. You're rich as Hell, sorry, couldn't resist. Can seduce anything on two legs..."

"Except for you, Detective," he interrupts with a cheeky grin.

She snorts a laugh, "And you piss people off left and right. Yeah, I assumed you've got enemies. Question is, was this a...um...human enemy or something else?"

She pauses, lost in thought for a moment, "You once told me that one angel can hurt another. Can you think of any one in particular who may have it out for you? Can anybody actually get out of Hell to come get you?" She reaches into her jacket for a notepad and starts scribbling.

His eyes widen and his lips part, eyebrows slightly raised in surprise as he points at her, "You're...you're truly working this like it's a case, Detective?" A full-blown grin creases his face, "Even though you certainly realize there's ultimately nothing you can possibly do if it is actually a supernatural assailant?"

Chloe looks at him warmly as she reaches to touch his arm, "Lucifer, whatever you are...human or...not, you are my friend. Someone kidnapped you and, judging from your condition last night, they _hurt_ you. That hurts _me_. So, yes. I want to find answers. If a human did this, we'll arrest them and deal with it that way. If...wasn't," she gives him a pointed look, "I'm guessing you and Maze can...deal with it."

He looks down where her hand holds his arm. Gobsmacked. "How..." he starts to speak but finds it difficult. He coughs then tries again, "You truly are a miracle, Chloe Jane Decker," he says quietly. "I don't deserve you in my life."

She smirks, "That's my choice, don't you think?"

His head snaps up to stare at her for a moment and he can't stop the welling tears or the broken smile as he nods, "Perhaps it is, darling." He lifts her hand from his arm and brushes his lips across her knuckles then stands abruptly. Coughing again to clear his throat, he steps back, "I should put some clothes on."

Chloe points at the wings, "Those might be a problem." She scrunches her face up in thought, "Hey, your brother Amenadiel - he's an angel, right?" She continues at his nod, "So, he's got wings? How does he manage to...you know...be dressed?"

Lucifer shrugs, "He hides them somehow. I never learned the trick because I had Maze lop these off as soon as we arrived."

She shrugs, "Why don't you call and ask him to show you?"

He makes an unhappy face, "Exactly what I need, for that lumbering oaf to show up and have to teach me how to do something. I'll figure it out on my own, thank you."

A blonde eyebrow arches in his direction, "Seriously?"

"What? Yes, seriously. I'm not in the mood for him to come in and act like a complete dick about the whole thing." He growls in frustration as his hands clench into fists. "It's enough that I don't even bloody know why I have them back to begin with!"

Chloe raises her hands in a placating gesture, "Alright. Calm down, Lucifer. It's okay." She rolls her eyes, "I just thought maybe you've learned your lesson about not talking to the people in your life, that's all."

He huffs as he stalks to his closet for a pair of trousers, "I'm immune to guilt trips, you know," he calls from the other room.

She laughs when he returns, looking more comfortable. Widening her eyes, she lowers her chin and goes for full-on puppy eyes, "Do it for me?" she asks.

Lucifer stares at her and exhales a soft breath, " _That_ is completely uncalled for."

The detective bats her eyelashes, "Is it?" she simpers. She holds the look for a second before she bursts out laughing. "Okay, but how about 'I can't work with you if you're running around looking like a Victoria's Secret model'?"

He pouts some more, "Had I realized what I was letting myself in for, I'd have kept you in the dark for the rest of your life."

She laughs again, "Hate to break it to you, but last night didn't look like the execution of a well-thought-out plan to get me in the know." Her smile softens and she looks at him fondly, "Seriously, though, I can help now that I realize that you and Maze are literal five-year olds in terms of your human experience."

Lucifer snickers, "You mean a pair of five-year olds with unlimited funds, sex on order, and all the cocaine we desire?"

"Oh shit," she answers as she stares at him. "Exactly like that. How did you even manage to get this far? Did you have help?"

He shrugs, "Sort of." He gestures at himself, "Honestly, when one is attractive enough and has enough money, all sorts of humans step up to offer their assistance."

Chloe scoffs, "Offer to take advantage of you, you mean."

He arches a brow, "I'm The Devil, darling. I encourage that sort of behavior, remember?"

She scowls, "It's still not right, Lucifer."

He cocks his head in the face of her righteous anger, "I promise, Detective, I really am a big boy - capable of taking care of myself. I didn't rule Hell just to come here to get bamboozled by some human ne'er do well."

She nods, "You're right."

"Of course I am, darling," he agrees.

She narrows her eyes at him, "So, you said you were going to show me proof before you had your wings. What proof?"

He stills and his eyes widen slightly again in that way she's realized means he's thinking of how to answer without telling the whole truth.

"The whole story, Lucifer," she demands.

A dark eyebrow goes up and he nods politely in her direction, "Very well, Detective. Since you asked." He gestures at his body, "What you see before you is a glamour. A facade, if you will."

"I don't understand," she replies. "What...?"

He holds up a staying hand, "A moment, please. Beneath...this highly attractive exterior," he pauses as she snickers, "lurks...a monster," he finishes quietly.

"A monster?" she asks for confirmation as she steps closer. "I still don't..." she raises a hand to his shoulder and tries to catch his eye as he looks away.

He steps back, still not able to look at her, but she doesn't let go. "I'm hideous, Chloe," he rasps. "A wretched, burned...thing. A beast out of your worst nightmares."

The detective cocks her head and takes a breath, "Show me," she whispers. She slides a hand into his hair and feels his shudder as he he inhales raggedly.

A sharp nod as he closes his eyes and reaches for her, taking her hands in his. "Very well. I...I have no right to ask this of you but..." he begins, his voice cracked and broken. "Please...don't run," he whispers.

She nods, "Okay."

Lucifer bites his lip and still doesn't look at her. His hold on her hands tightens slightly and, while she watches, it's as if all the skin on the man who has become her best friend suddenly just...disappears.

She gasps and he closes his eyes tightly, biting his lip a little more. A small nod as he releases her and steps back.

Chloe grabs his hands and pulls him back toward her. She releases his hands when his eyes fly open, "Oh! Did I hurt you? I'm sorry...it looks like..." She leans forward as if she wants to touch him but stops herself as tears stream from her bright blue eyes. A shaking hand covers her mouth, "Oh God."

He nods, "Indeed. And, no, you didn't hurt me. You could never...as I said. A monster," he finishes quietly as he turns away.

"Lucifer." Her voice still shakes but it is stronger than he expected. "Stop. Please."

At least she isn't screaming in terror. Yet. "It's alright, Chloe. I know what I am."

She huffs in frustration, "No, Lucifer. You really, really don't."

His eyes open wide and he stares at her as he replaces the glamour. "Beg your pardon? Did you not just _see_ that?" Dark eyebrows come down as he looks at her skeptically, "Have I driven you mad after all?"

Chloe steps closer and raises her hand to stroke his cheek. He stares into her ocean-blue eyes trying to gauge the level of her sanity. "You are the worst child abuse case I've ever seen, Lucifer." Her eyes glisten with fresh tears, "What your Father did to you..."

He scoffs, "I'm no child, Detective."

Her hand on his head draws him closer, "You're HIS child, Lucifer. Regardless of what that means to the rest of us, He did this to his own son."

Lucifer tries to shrug, "No doubt he felt justified in his methods. I've asked for clarification. Repeatedly. Nothing. I must simply...accept it. As you should as well."

The detective growls angrily, "I refuse to accept that there is justification for this." Her eyes flash, "What have you done to people who hurt kids?" she asks.

He looks at her in confusion, "I don't..."

"When they end up in Hell. How do you deal with people who torture and abuse kids?" she demands.

He shrugs, "They are considered some of the worst offenders we see. Harming the helpless is a very serious offense Detective, but I fail to see..."

"You were a child, Lucifer!" she yells at him. "Comparatively, a CHILD, when he did this to you!"

"I was **_NEVER_** a child, Detective!" he yells right back. His eyes glow and the lights in the apartment flicker. "Never," he repeats more quietly as he struggles to calm himself.

She hiccups as tears stream down her face, "And that is probably the most cruel thing of all."


End file.
